THIS IS MARRIAGE!!
Permission to be a bad ass. Nod.
He looks back at the guy like, “SEE THAT? SHE SAID YES. YOU’RE SO FUCKED.”
Like, guys. Sparta was so kick ASS sometimes when it came to women. Spartan women were given these small knives so that if their husbands came home and tried to hit them or assault them, they had a weapon within reach. That weapon was for CUTTING THEIR HUSBANDS’ FUCKING FACES so that when he went out in public everyone would know he was an asshole, abusing jerkface and they would publicly shame him.
I DID NOT KNOW THAT THAT IS GREAT
LET’S JUST TALK ABOUT SPARTAN WOMEN FOR A SECOND.
In Sparta, women could own land and were considered citizens. THAT IS A HUGE BIG FUCKING DEAL. Why? Because that was RARE AS FUCK and there are lots of places TODAY where women don’t even get that much.
Divorce was totally fine, and a woman could expect to keep her own wealth and get custody of the kids because paternal lineage wasn’t very important. And it didn’t make her a pariah! She could totally remarry, no big deal at all.
Spartan women participated in some fuckin’ badass sporting events, too. And because they were expected to be as physically fit as the Spartan menfolk (who all had to serve compulsory military duties, btw, and couldn’t marry until they finished them at thirty) they didn’t have time for lots of swishy dresses. So they wore notoriously short skirts. According to some accounts, their thighs were visible at all times. HOLY SHIT.
Also, In Sparta men only got their names on their graves if they died in battle. And women? Women only got their names on their graves if they died in childbirth. THE SPARTANS COMPARED CHILDBIRTH TO FUCKING BATTLE AND IT WAS VIEWED AS A GODDAMN BADASS AND HONORABLE WAY TO GO OUT.
FUCKING SPARTAN WOMEN. THIS DUDE HAD FUCKIN’ BETTER MAKE SURE SHE’S COOL WITH WHATEVER HE’S DOING, IF HE KNOWS WHAT’S FUCKIN’ GOOD FOR HIM.
this doesn’t stop being awesome
[about romance] “Do you think Shakespeare would be disappointed with this generation?”
Fucking shit Tom can you at least be a lovable womanizer or something instead of ACTUAL PRINCE FUCKING CHARMING??
You realize how much worse you make average guys seem every time you open your goddamn mouth, Tom??
My cosmetology class is alongside the auto body and diesel repair classes. They act like they’ve never seen a woman before in their LIVES.
THEY QUACKED AT US ONCE. QUACKED. I’M NOT EVEN SURE WHAT THAT’S SUPPOSED TO FUCKING MEAN, TOM.
This would’ve been just a normal thing I expected from The Average American Man-Folk like a year and a half ago. No big deal, you know. Eye roll and move along.
YOU had to pop up and be a fucking RIDICULOUS CHARMING BASTARD and prove my mom wrong about the whole “prince charming doesn’t exist so don’t get your hopes up” thing and now getting quacked at is just a reminder THAT YOU ARE A FREAK OF NATURE AND PROBABLY DON’T QUACK AT RANDOM WOMEN AND I WILL DIE ALONE BECAUSE I CANNOT SETTLE FOR A FUCKING QUACKER NOW, THOMAS.
I AM SENDING YOU MY KITTY LITTER BILL FOR MY 500 CATS, TOM.
Damn this perfect fucking man.
oh my god. Reblogging not for Tom (who is spoiling the market) but for this good as gold comment:
I WILL DIE ALONE BECAUSE I CANNOT SETTLE FOR A FUCKING QUACKER NOW
That totally sums up my relationship prospects in this town.
Thank the Lord someone said this.
beards make you hotter.
this is science.
Actually having more facial hair/stubble is a sign of higher fertility in men. So yes it is actual science.
And then on top of that, male-bodied people’s beards will actually grow faster when they are anticipating sexual activity! Source
honestly, some of the sexiest things about a guy is the way his voice sounds when he’s tired, the smirk of satisfactory he gets on his face when he knows he’s done something good, and the protective instincts he has when it comes to his girl